I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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