You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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