WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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