wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
