is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
