nut hugger
This girl is more easily done than said...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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