Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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