There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
