What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
