You're my little dorito
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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