Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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