Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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