and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
