I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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