Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
