yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
