does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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