I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
