1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
