When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
