I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
