Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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