i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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