I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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