I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
