you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
