I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
