It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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