Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Two words: nipple clamps
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