She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
