Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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