At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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