y did u give ur computer a hand job?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
