cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
