Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
