I understand Curling. That high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
