Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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