Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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