i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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