We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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