38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
