I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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