Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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