i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
