Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
