I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
