No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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