please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
