someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
