she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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