Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
